Another Day at Armestris
by Taisa Prongsie
Summary: Jean Havoc and Maes Hughes have a little fun with Edward after he walks in on something he shouldn't have. Yaoi, swearing.


**Author's Note**: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or anything associated with it. Wish I did, but I don't.  
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Havoc fucked Maes before work began every now and again. However, one morning Edward strolled into the office at the wrong time. Edward muttered a very abrupt, "THE FUCK!" and proceeded to pass out on the floor. Maes laughed as he finally hit pleasurable oblivion in the arms of his now not-so-secret lover boy. Havoc finished the two of them off at once, waves of passion spilling over them.

The two cleaned up, got dressed and, though embarrassed, they figured they could get a little fun out of the very vulnerable alchemist at their feet. Maes got some markers out of the drawer and started drawing on the pre-pubescent porcelain skin while Havoc decided to undo Ed's braid. Any trace of skin showing now had something drawn or written on it, whereas his braid was replaced with blonde pigtails.

Maes and Havoc walked out of the office and went about their business. The drop must have given Fullmetal a concussion because he failed to remember what he had walked in on. As he began questioning Lieutenant Hawkeye as to why, exactly, he was knocked unconscious that he noticed Fuery, Falman, Havoc and Breda snickering in the corner.

"What the HELL are you guys laughing about!" he exlaimed.

"Nothing Fullmetal, sir," Fuery blurted out while trying to repress another round of hysterical laughter.

"I didn't know that the Colonel liked to call his lovers 'love pastries', that's a new one," Falman stated.

"Edward, have you looked in a mirror lately?" Hawkeye questioned, stifling a girlish giggle that managed to sneak out of her vocal chords.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Lieutenant Hawkeye directed Edward into the nearest bathroom. Suddenly an unusually high-pitched scream of anguish, misery, disgust, and hatred filled the air. Not long after, a blond, red, and black blur raced around the office.

"WHO DID THIS! I'LL KILL THEM MYSELF!" Edward seethed.

"Take it easy, boss, it's not as if they called you a shrimp..." Havoc said.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL AN ANT COULD SQUISH THEM?"

Maes walked into the office casually, stuck his hand in the air and said a short, "Yo!" He then walked over, sat down without noticing the rather ostentatious display of rage coming from the young alchemist. When he settled down in the chair in the corner, he looked around and saw Edward flailing (as usual) and started to chuckle. He got up, put a hand on Edward's shoulder while still chuckling.

"You know, kid, you ought to keep you and the Colonel's private life to yourself," he said while pointing to the younger one's forehead which boldly stated, "I'm Colonel Mustang's love pastry."

Maes' eyes twinkled devilishly and his smirk widened as Edward finally caught on to who the perpetrators were. Edward said nothing, but immediately ran towards the Lieutenant Colonel and began chasing him around Armestris.

"I'm GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU WROTE ALL THIS STUFF ON MY FACE! YOU ROYAL PRICK!" Edward shouted on the second lap of Headquarters.

"They go LOVELY with your new hair style!" Maes remarked as they were nearing their group of friends.

"YOU'RE GOING TO MEET YOUR MAK --- my WHAT!" He skidded to a halt.

"I think you look so adorable in pigtails, just like my lovely Elycia!"

"PIGTAILS! I've got PIGTAILS!"

"Yes, Edward, didn't you see when we were in the bathroom?" Hawkeye didn't even look him in the eye this time, as she was doubled over in laughter.

He pulled out his hair and put it into his normal braid, when the Colonel walked in and asked what in the world was making them so rowdy this afternoon. He barely managed to finish his sentence when one look at Fullmetal explained everything.

"So. You think you're my favorite love pastry, eh, Fullmetal?"

Edward turned every colour of red imaginable. "Shut your face, Colonel. Shut it before I do it and make it permanent."

"Oh how I'd like to see you try..." he said in a low bass voice that would have had any woman (well, any woman whose lover wasn't a Colt .45 pistol) melting in his arms.

"YOU BASTARD!" Edward yelled, promptly storming out the office door to the bathroom door to scrub his face half-off.

"Okay, which one of you brilliant people did that to Fullmetal?" Mustang asked, while finally laughing now that his little show of authority was over.

Maes and Havoc looked at each other, looked back at Mustang, and grinned from ear to ear.

"Congratulations. You two are getting raises."


End file.
